Monster
by Stellar Belle
Summary: Your defence was paper thin, one touch and I was in. I'm sorry. [Drabble, Oneshot Yamato's POV]


**Monster**

_I was going to write a Mimato story, but seeing as how I never finish my stories, due to lack of interest and such, I decided to make a small drabble oneshot, based on the story. To sum it up, it's about Yamato getting drunk and trying to rape Mimi in a violent rage. I know, I know, not very romantic. Ah well. Enjoy!_

I've gone too far this time, haven't I? I never meant to, it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

But you were too beautiful. You had your hair all up or curled or _something_, and your eyes - oh, your _eyes_. Those fucking brown eyes. No, not brown, but some sort of crazy hazelnut or caramel or something that sounds a helluva lot more eloquent than _brown_. Because if your eyes were brown, I would''ve stopped.

I know that's a stupid reason. There is no excuse for what the hell I've done tonight. I'm so sorry. All I know is that these hands, these disgusting godforsaken _hands_, can never touch you again, never hold you again. I won't allow myself too. What I've done was unforgivable.

But, please, Mimi, _please_ believe me when I tell you that I am not like this, not this _monster_. I'm a human who fucked up _royally_. There was just something wrong with me, something that even your magic, healing touch couldn't fix. I thought the drinks were what I needed. But I drank too much and I learned a little too late on what I was _doing_ to you. But I tried to drink my sorrows and then you came. I don't know why, and I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity to ask you why, but you came.

The fucking disappointment in your face really killed me. They way your lips thinned out and your eyes narrowed; it wasn't fair. You knew you were all I wanted and you led me along by a thread. But you roped me in, and you looked so mesmerizing. I was fucking captivated, and it wasn't the alcohol then, it was just you.

But what happened next was the alcohol, I swear. I couldn't have you look at me like that any longer, so I did it. I attack you. Oh _God_, I attacked you. In a blinded rage, I leaped onto you and pinned you down. You didn't stand a chance, I know, and I'm sorry. I couldn't resist you. I had to devour you for myself. Your neck made me want to die and your lips had me crawling out of my skin.

You hit me, you screamed, you cried. I can't believe I made you _cry_, after _vowing_ to never be the one to do that, promising you that I'd be the one to _protect _you. But I can't even control myself. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was me under the influence of alcohol.

But I won't lie. I was a fucking animal sinking it's claws into it's prey. I wanted you so bad that I was about to peel my skin off. It was that bad.

But then you stopped your sobs and I looked at you. No - _this_ killed me. You were abused, devastated. And I did that to you. You looked me straight in the eye but I know you saw nothing then. I am nothing now.

So I tore myself away from you, screaming at you, telling you to leave. I knew that if you stayed a second too long, I'd have done it again. You hurried from your seat then paused, and only God knows why you did, but i would've sworn I saw the corners of your lips upturn. Maybe your intentions were good then, but it corrupted me so terribly that you don't even _understand_.I'd've been better if you just hit me, yelled at me, told me you _hate_ me because I knew it was what I deserved. But your priorities got mixed up and you smiled, making the situation much more dire. God, I wish you hadn't.

I'm sorry. I am selfish, I am incapable of controling myself. But maybe you didn't hear it, but between each "Get out! Leave!", I was telling you I was sorry. I am so, so, _so_ sorry. I reeled you into something and now you're neck-deep. It tears me up inside, but that's just me, the way I am. I'm sorry for involving you in my fucked up downspiral. I'm sorry for planting corrupted kisses all over your neck and cheeks and lips. I'm sorry for letting me think such vulgar, obscene thoughts, and you cannot imagine what I thought and what I really wanted to do to you if I hadn't pulled away.

I'm sorry for being the monster and not the knight you saw in me.


End file.
